As an artist I constantly wonder, dream rather than do, put on paper all the feelings, I create and destroy. Being an artist means seeing things in an abstract way and sharing, even something that doesn't exist, or does it? We can create worlds. Our imagination is the only limit. But why we even want this? Why do we create? What is the reason?
Many artists become one because they felt something, the need to express oneself, instead of taking - giving, instead of simply using - reshaping, creating. For others it was the only way to keep voices silenced.
Among artist we can find many disable people - art compensates everything, deaf - draw, blind - sing... At least this is how it is now, because in the past a visible disability was almost equal to witchcraft, people were murdered, or kept indoors so no one could see them, hear about them. The only 'allowed' disability was a mental disorder, because it was hard to get noticed by simply looking at someone. Claude Monet, Pablo Picasso? Rings a bell? I bet.
Voices. Mental disability. Art. Everything is connected.
You may now say: "Hey, I'm not crazy! No voices here." And I would reply: "It depends how you define voices."
Voices can be anything and everything, whether it's an impulse to draw something while seeing someone's other work, having a dream, or just wondering inside your mind. The voice is an impulse, sometimes hard to name or describe. Whether you can actually hear something or not depends on your brain, imagination, but also your desires.
I remember having an image in my mind which I constantly tried to put on paper. I don't know where it came from, but it was feel like having a teacher who gave me a task, waiting till I finally make it done, so it could give me another, and another. Something within me was saying: "Try again. You can do it!" It had to be my voice, because there was no one near, but even now I don't know for sure. Truth is, we never know...
Fir science, voices equals mental problems. For most non-artist, too. But what artist thinks? He/She listen, sympathize. Why? Because we are so open-minded, or there is something more we don't like to talk about?
Is there a higher reason, why we, artists even exist in this world? Maybe not all of us are or will be so successful as we would like. Maybe that's not the point.
I used to think that my works have a meaning, a higher purpose, but I was never into becoming a famous one. I prefer to sit in a corner, watching instead of being watched. Yet I believed that there is at least one person I'm doing all of this for, and without my drawings his/her purpose couldn't be fulfilled. I suppose I've watched too many movies in my life. But again, maybe I was supposed to watch them... Would it be so bad knowing that everything is predefined? Knowing there is at least one reason why we were born?
kesbet
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There is a good movie related to this journal entry - Lady in the Water . If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. Don't look at it's rating though, just give it a try.
Made by kesbet
